Well, my crazy beautiful Angel-Girl turns 5 today. This time 5 years ago I was just being told that they werent going to let me go into labour, that I was having my baby TODAY, almost 6 weeks before her due date. I was so terrified, not knowing how this would effect her. I had to ring Matthew to come straight away so he could also hear what the DRs had to say, but as he wasnt driving it took some time to get there. So at 2.30pm that afternoon we went into theatre for a C-section... after trying for 20 mins to get the spinal thingy in, they finally knocked me out and Lilly was born. Matthew was waiting in one room, and the rest of the family were in another I think. Aparently when I woke up I saw her, but I dont remember. All I remember is waking up, not really able to talk and being told that I had a baby girl, who was doing fine. Lilly was sent to the Neonatal unit, and while I couldnt keep my eyes open, I was quite aware of what was going on around me as I taken back to my room. Mum and Dad, Matthew and Fran and Bryan were there and then they all went out to celebrate thinking I was sleeping. It was actually almost a full 24 hours before I saw Lilly... and I couldnt hold her as she was in one of those little boxes. My first cuddle came when she was 48 hours old. I think I was in shock really, and I know Matthew was.... not the best of beginnings, but she has absolutely thrived. No one would ever guess by looking at her now, so tall, confident and clever that she had had such a start in life :D
I still bawl my eyes out when I think back to those weeks in hospital, how worried and lonely I felt and often wonder if that is why Lilly and I have the issues that we do, I wish we had had the chance to be together in those first days to bond.
The last five years have just flown past and I am so proud of her. She is so independent and lives in her own little world where Lions eat yellow chocolate and anything that isnt yellow can easily pretend to be, lol. School starts next term, and Lilly is so ready to go, her kindy teachers constantly tell me how smart she is, how quickly she picks up new concepts and what a joy she is to have in the classroom. She is creative and quite a character, and I am looking forward to the next five years as she goes from being my preschooler to being a school girl, seeing her bloom.
